spirited…….

The midwife stopped by this week.  It was really exciting.  I am supposed to be 16 weeks along but I am measuring 20.  I don’t remember consistently measuring this high last time but oh well.  I hope the midwife is right.  She suspects I am farther along than 16 weeks.  The baby is 12-16 inches long she thinks so she suspects 20 ish.  We will see.  I don’t want to get my hopes up and have this baby after my due date after I expected to have it before.  I am officially getting excited now about the baby.  I have started crocheting a shawl to throw over my shoulders while I nurse.  I have also started trying to build up the baby clothes stash again.  I have started looking for some good fabric for a sling for work so I can nurse the baby while I work.  I was reading through the midwife’s postpartum instructions and I forgot how cute newborns are and I think it is finally starting to hit me, as weird as that sounds.

The girls are doing great.  I am trying to remember to be kinder and gentler.  It is hard when I am so tired and have no patience.  O has really started acting out and I have tried to give her some extra attention lately and love and that seems to be working.  I wonder when I should start thinking about a birth kit? 

Olivia turns 5 April 5th.  My how time flown by!  Well, since I forgot her birthday last year, I thought I had better do something this year.  Especially with the new baby coming.  There won’t be a lot of time next year.  Mom is helping me to plan her a "Barbie" party.  I think it is going to be great.  They are all going to come in their dress-ups, and bring their favorite Barbie.  Mom and I are making Barbie paper dolls with dresses for them to play with.  They are going to bead necklaces, color Barbie coloring sheets, and we are going to put ribbons in their hair and hair glitter.  Of course, they can also play with their Barbies!  I think it is going to be fun and I am actually excited about it.

We are expecting baby #3.  Not really planned.  So, it is taking me awhile to get used to the idea.  Of course, all babies are blessings and we will be overjoyed once he/she gets here.  We have finally decided to have a homebirth.  We have been trying to work within the system to have a hospital birth but it has really been kind of a struggle for us.  I mean, the OB, Ped, and everyone has been really supportive and it takes them awhile to come around but they do….I just don’t feel up to the challenge I guess.  It would just be so much nicer to just have the midwife come to our house, have the baby at home, and then go to bed….So, I am really excited about our decision.  The only hang up is that it is soooo expensive and of course, insurance doesn’t cover it.  We will manage and I know it will be worth it. 

So, I am 16 weeks along and measuring wayyyy  big as usual.  The first visit, the midwife was wondering if I might be having twins (as usual, Norla did the same)  she couldn’t find another heartbeat or feel another baby so she ruled it out.  Plus, I had already had a sono at about 6 weeks…But, this was what happened with the girls also.  I am short, and have no torso, there really is no where for the baby to go but out and up.  She suggested my due date is wrong by a couple of weeks but we thought that with Olivia too and I ended up being 15 days late!  Not getting trapped into that thinking again!  I bet this baby will come in September, due date is August 29th according to the ultrasound.

This time, we are actually going to find out.  We didn’t with the other two but this is the last baby so it would be nice to know if we can get rid of the girl stuff or not.  Of course, I have already given it all away because I refuse to have another girl.  I guess if we do have another one, we will just get some new stuff:)

I found this beautiful blue/gray yarn at Hobby Lobby half price and I am going to try to make a soaker out of it.  Making baby soakers has really started to get me excited about this baby…Soon, my mom and I will have to finish the Cuddlebun diapers for the new baby too!

So, everyone around me is getting pregnant and I have to say that I am feeling those familiar twinges. However, Eve is just getting old enough now that I can leave her with someone for a couple of hours and go do stuff and really starting to get a taste of freedom. Also, this last year and a half has been so hard that I really think we should kind of slow down and catch our breath first. Maybe next year at this time…..Or maybe not. I think I would like to have another spring baby and not be pregnant in the summer!

However, 2 friends, my cousin, and my sister-in-law are all pregnant and due between may and august so I am busy trying to make afghans for everyone. My mom has an insane craft closet full of skeins of yarn. I mean, she has so many that they are sorted into BINS by COLOR! It makes me smile. I am always thinking of all the fun projects to use the yarn on. So, that is why I am making baby afghans. This first one is a monster. I chose a stitch that is small (I think the babies get irritated with holy blankets that their toes stick through….or maybe I do and I am projecting…)anyway, so I am doing a small stitch with a small hook and it is taking FOREVER! It is also taking a ton of yarn. It is fun though. I am doing a simple pattern and making stripes however and whenever I like so there is no rhyme or reason to it. I hope it doesn’t drive the mama crazy since it won’t be “ordered”:)

Anyway, I am also throwing 3 diaper showers and I want to make capes for 3 girls and 1 boy(I loved the sibling presents I got at my shower so I want to make some for them). I have this idea of making “Narnia” capes with hoods and my mom has some faux fur in her awesome craft closet I could put around the collars…..It will definitely be fun!

Oh, and I would like to cut down my shelf so it fits over my bed, add rope lighting, build 2 side tables out the the old drawers from my kitchen and paint the doors to finally finish my bedroom….So, what is likely to actually get done?

So, this last week Eve got really sick again. I mean, REALLY sick. It was a lot like last time. She was just lethargic. So lethargic, it was scary. I would try to wake her and she would open her eyes for a second and then they would roll back into her head and she would go to sleep again. It was like the poor little thing just didn’t have the effort to keep them open. This time, there was no vomiting or diarrhea but the whole lethargy thing had me wigged out. So, I took her to the dr. again and she sent me to have another RSV test done. They did it in the ER last time and it is awful. For those of you who haven’t seen it, they stick a swap so far up into her nose that it looks like they are scrambling her brain and every time, they bring it out bloody and her nose bleeds a little the rest of the day. No sooner had I gotten home, but they called….It was positive. AGH!!! Well, I guess we had it coming, it was the only thing she didn’t have last time! The Ped. just said to keep doing the breathing treatments and if she didn’t get better overnight, we would admit her. Luckily, about an hour later, she crawled down off of my lap (for the first time in 3 days) went over to Olivia and starting eating goldfish (crackers). The rest of the day, she played and ate and drank. Those little darlings really just “bounce” back!!

Anyway, this whole sickness thing is such a shock to me. O has never had so much as an ear infection or antibiotics and poor Eve!@ Luckily, it is over and I am really praying for healthiness the rest of the winter! We have an appt. on the 19th to get her first vacc.’s. We got that book “Vaccinations” by Dr. Sears and we are going to limit the amount of aluminum containing vacc.’s to 1 per visit and spread them out. Luckily, since she is so old, she won’t need some of them like the rotavirus……..

We bought the girls a butterfly pavilion for Christmas. I thought it would be neat for her to watch the butterflies grow into butterflies. It was really neat. We got the catterpillers and watched them turn into chryssalis’ and then inito butterflies. She loves them. This is where we hit a snag….You see, they came in a handy little jar that had all the food they needed until they hatched out of their chrysallis into butterflies. Then we have to start feeding them. Well, we also have 2 goldfish (O named Sam and Charlie) and a dog to feed and we have been busy so I forgot for a couple of days (just to feed the butterflies, the goldfish and dog are still alive). Well, we got the butterflies down to feed them today and some of them weren’t moving. I totally lied to O and told them that they are just sleeping. So, now I am not sure how I am going to explain to her why some are “missing” when I take out the dead ones. I guess I need to explain to her about how things die if you don’t feed them…..ARGH!!!! Why did I get them in the middle of winter? I totally should have gotten them in summer so we could have released them right away and then I wouldn’t have had to worry about feeding them!!!! So, I guess I will have to have another talk with her later….HMmmmmm…how long can I procrastinate this conversation?

Things are finally starting to feel like they are calming down. I am slowly wading through the laundry. Luckily, the laundry mountain in my laundry room has dissappeared and now I have a few loads in my room and the girls’ room. Once I get all the laundry done I think I will make some pillows for the couch. Then, I need to work on our room. I guess it is time to start on the house again after our hiatus after finishing the girls’ room. If I could ever figure out how to upload the pics I would!!

Nothing new to report. I am thinking on cutting up some of the girls’ old clothes that I have been saving. (The ones that have irreparable stains) I have some too. I have several shirts with gooey handprints and stuff all over the fronts…. I think I am going to quilt it together and make a hole in the middle so the girls could use it for puppetteering. I can’t decide if I am going to make it like 8 feet long so it could also double as a stage for the girls or just make it smaller and hang it with a tension rod in a doorway. Well, I am sure that by the time I get to that fun project, I will have had lots of time to think about it!! I do, however, think that if I made a stage, that would be really cool! We could tie back the quilted panels when they aren’t using them. Of course, leaving them closed could lead to all kinds of fun games too…..I am not sure where I would get a rod to hang it quite that long though…Maybe pvc pipe? Would it support the weight? Any suggestions?

Hmmmm, circle of good mama friends.  Isn’t that what we all need to feel more content and to help us navigate the rough waters of stay-at-home-momhood?  I was just thinking how we manage to meet wonderful women in our lives at just the right time and then life takes us in different directions…..I often think of Amanda, Jane, and Tara and how much I learned from each one of them…..

I am starting to try to build up my circle of friends here.  I have had a lot of time to reflect on life lately and I have decided that I need to get a "circle" here too.  It makes life so much easier when you aren’t home by yourself with your children for 10 hours a day.  I have started a regular playdate with one friend, Montana.  She has a little girl who is 5 and plays pretty well with O and a little boy who is 1 month younger than Eve.  I am going to start a playgroup on Wed.’s at our church’s activity center I think.  It is a big open space so the kids could run and play in the winter and they could just go over to the playground in the summer.  I think that will be fun too…..

We have also started hanging out more with Danielle.  She does daycare though but I think once a week or so we will go over there and play.  Our kids play well together and we have a lot of the same philosophies on child-rearing.  She is fun.

Of course, it takes time to build friendships but I feel like I am meeting a lot of great women and the days are definitely brightening up!  It is amazing how much better I feel about life when I have a couple of mamas to hang out with during the week!!!

On a side note, some teachers and aides at my moms school would like to have an exercise class in the school gym after school.  My mom asked me if I would lead it.  Of course, I got really excited.  Before kids, I was trying to get certified to teach aerobics.  I never did because the certification workshops were always too far away…..Anyway, it would be an awesome thing to do because, A…I would get to workout uninterrupted, and B….I might make some money.  Then, reality set in.  After paying childcare and gas, for what I would ask the moms to pay($1 a class, I want it to be affordable and I am not certified), I would be in the hole.  That is depressing.  It always is when you want to do something for yourself and realize it may not be feasible.  But, I am looking for other options.  Maybe I can find someone to swap childcare with me and then it would work out better………

Finally Eve is starting to play by herself again. After the hospital, she wouldn’t let me put her down or get out of her sight. Things are starting to get back to normal….Ahhhhhhh….IN fact, as I write this, they are both laughing because O has just taught Eve to say poo poo. Feeling twinges of baby fever lately. Two of our friends, my cousin and my sister-in-law are all pregnant and they are all due around Jul/Aug. I also had a home visit with a new mom and saying that brand new baby definitely brought on the baby fever! We need to wait though. I feel like things are just finally settling down a little and we need to have more done on our house so I can just sit back and enjoy our new baby if we have another one…..

I just heard that there are 2 types of the influenza virus….A and B. 75% of A is not covered by the shot and 100% of B. Our ARNP that we go to told me that. it was a report from the CDC. It made me feel better about not getting Eve the flu shot because obviously, this is just one of those things that are random and she had A and B so the B wouldn’t have been covered anyway and she could have still gotten that part……I do think that we are still going to get her vaccinated. I was reading about the aluminum they are putting in the vaccines now and it is frightening. However, Dr. Sears wrote a book about vaccines listing aluminum levels and which brands have which amounts of aluminum in them and a suggestion for how to limit the aluminum (which shots to get and when and how many to get at once) while getting your children vaccinated. It should be here in a couple of days so hopefully, Eve’s dr. will work with us in that way in getting her vaccinated….

I truly believe that LLL nourishes my soul. I had a home visit last week. It is so refreshing to be able to help someone and see the relief on their face. Of course, there is nothing more frustrating than leaving a mom and feeling like I didn’t help her and couldn’t figure out her problem. Then, I worry that I am not qualified to do this, and of course, feel like I have failed them.

Finally Eve is starting to play by herself again. After the hospital, she wouldn’t let me put her down or get out of her sight. Things are starting to get back to normal….Ahhhhhhh….IN fact, as I write this, they are both laughing because O has just taught Eve to say poo poo. Feeling twinges of baby fever lately. Two of our friends, my cousin and my sister-in-law are all pregnant and they are all due around Jul/Aug. I also had a home visit with a new mom and saying that brand new baby definitely brought on the baby fever! We need to wait though. I feel like things are just finally settling down a little and we need to have more done on our house so I can just sit back and enjoy our new baby if we have another one…..

I just heard that there are 2 types of the influenza virus….A and B. 75% of A is not covered by the shot and 100% of B. Our ARNP that we go to told me that. it was a report from the CDC. It made me feel better about not getting Eve the flu shot because obviously, this is just one of those things that are random and she had A and B so the B wouldn’t have been covered anyway and she could have still gotten that part……I do think that we are still going to get her vaccinated. I was reading about the aluminum they are putting in the vaccines now and it is frightening. However, Dr. Sears wrote a book about vaccines listing aluminum levels and which brands have which amounts of aluminum in them and a suggestion for how to limit the aluminum (which shots to get and when and how many to get at once) while getting your children vaccinated. It should be here in a couple of days so hopefully, Eve’s dr. will work with us in that way in getting her vaccinated….

I truly believe that LLL nourishes my soul. I had a home visit last week. It is so refreshing to be able to help someone and see the relief on their face. Of course, there is nothing more frustrating than leaving a mom and feeling like I didn’t help her and couldn’t figure out her problem. Then, I worry that I am not qualified to do this, and of course, feel like I have failed them.