spirited…….

Well, today was awesome.  First the WIC Lady called about some WIC stuff.  Then I made some reminder calls about our meting on Thu.  So, then I went to drop off some stuff to the lady at WIC and we had an absolutely awesome conversation.  This lady is so fired up about breastfeeding and forming a partnership together to get things going.  She said they would love to co-sponsor anything that we do and would offer up resources and everything they have.  It is great.  It was just the little "kick" that I needed since I have kind of been in a slump the past couple of days.

Eve is going to be walking soon.  She is already pushing around her little toys and stands on her own.  CRAP!  Why is it that with your first child you can’t wait for them to do something and then with the subsuquent children, whom you would just like for them to roll around on the floor until they are 12 months old, they think they need to do things faster?  I mean, crazy fast?

so now I was starting to feel a little guilty about all the whining I have been doing lately and not talking at all about the girls.  Did you know I can blow up a balloon and type at the same time?  Neither did I…..until just now!

anyway, aside from the fact that I have the attention span of a 3 year-old, Olivia is doing GREAT!  She is such a sweet little girl.  She is so very gentle with Eve and helpful.  I have been truly blessed.  She has "graduated" from speach therapy and no longer needs it…WHOOHOO!  She is very loving and an introvert.  She loves other kids but takes a while to warm up. 

Potty learning is going GREAT!  We waited until she was ready and she just wears a diaper to poop and at night.  We haven’t had but a handful of accidents.  We bought her a 12 inch bike for her birthday with a little horn and flag and she absolutely loves it.  For some reason, she never could pedal her tricycle but she does awesome on her bike "just like the big girls".

Eve is doing awesome.  She is such a laid back, silly little baby.  She actually entertains herself, which is absolutely amazing.  She is so funny.  She is crawling down the hall (a feat she mastered at the wonderful age of 6 months ARGH!) growling because Oliva walked away from her.  She is our little growler and screacher.  She can’t talk yet but boy does she communicate!  She makes the cutest little faces.  She does this face scrunch, nose wrinkle that is hilarious…..Anyway, she is cruising or whatever they call it when she walks along with the furniture or whatever happens to be standing still.  You have to watch out because if you are standing somewhere and feel some precarious little hands on the backs of your calves it is her, pulling herself up on you…….

Things are starting to turn around.  I guess after seeing what else is out there and starting to figure what is going on at work, Jon has decided to stay.  He is going to work hard and earn his salary back.  I am proud of him.  It would be much easier to just quit and walk away and I think he will be happier he did this in the long run.  It is really going to change him though.  I know that I need to have more patience because this is a whole new world for him.  Growing up the bosses daughter, I know what a small business owner expects from employees.  I have seen and heard it first hand.  He has a totally different background.  he is doing well. 

He is doing a lot better at keeping his comments to himself than I am about giving them.  I just can’t help it.  Why is it so hard to let the ones you love fail?  I mean, I can do it with O to let her learn but her mistakes are simple and don’t really affect her life that much.  I guess Jon’s are gigantic and affect all of us.  I am trying to let him and let go of the control but….

Well, the girls are still sick but finally getting over their colds.  Hopefully I will get some sleep now.  There’s nothing like waking up at 2:30 in the morning because your baby is coughing so hard that she gags and pukes little hot dog chunks all over you (yes, I realize my nutritional standards are somewhat slumping).  Then, finally falling asleep in the recliner around 3:15 only to awaken at 4:30 to just breastmilk (thank goodness, it so so much less disgusting!) being projectile puked all over you again.  Let me just say that by 7:00 a.m. I had no clean pajamas left and Eve and I were shrivelled up like little prunes from so much time in the shower….

So, the job hunt has begun.  Sometimes I get so stressed that I just get nothing done.  I basically just run around and get stressed but cannot find a way to focus or an outlet for my stress.  Perhaps this little personality quirk is a reason for some of my previous not-so-constructive ways of dealing with stress.  Hmmm….Poor Jon.  I tend to vent a lot of it on him.  I guess I am feeling a little frustrated with him.  I know it is not his fault that we are in this situation.  I cannot ask him to work a job that he hates anymore than I can expect myself to quit trying to control the situation.  I guess I just need to pray for some peace and self-control and just try to take a lot of deep breaths.  What I wouldn’t give for a good girls night out and a baby that slept all night so I could have a few too many cocktails!

Anyway, enough of the whining.  The house is coming along.  My mom has made the curtains for the living room and Jon got the ceiling fan put up, and it looks amazing.  If I could ever finish painting the walls, and trim, that little corner of our life would be complete and very livable.  Hmm…maybe that would be a good place to start?  The kitchen and dining rooms still need curtains.  I still need to tile the backsplash in the kitchen.  It would really relieve a lot of stress if I did but I really hate tiling.  That is one thing I have learned from all this DIY’ing.  I hate to tile.  It is very unfortunate because you really save yourself a lot of money for something really nice but I abhor it.  I would drink while tiling to make it more fun but I don’t think that they would end up very straight. 

Better go, I am ending up talking too much about drinking.  Believe it or not, I haven’t had a drink in several weeks and it was just one beer.  But after rereading this email, it is starting to sound like I am quite the lush.  Just having a sh***y week. 

Wow, o.k. be ready to listen to me whine.  Isn’t it weird how life plays out?  I have been thinking how hard everything has been trying to be the mother that I want to be and remodel our house and get a LLL Group started and now that life finally feels like it is settling down and I feel like I can breathe again, life turns upside down.  I mean, the kitchen and dining room are nearing completion and I am finally feeling like we can have friends over and start enjoying our weekends when Jon came home from work today to tell me that his boss has demoted him.

Wow.  I mean they sat down and his boss basically told him that he isn’t happy with him and he isn’t going to continue to pay him on salary.  He is going to lower his pay to hourly (although he didn’t say what that would be).  Wow.  So, where do we go from here?  We can’t afford to take a pay cut.  This seemed like a good job because there would be room to grow so now what? 

I guess this is a problem for me because I want to be taken care of.  I guess as progressive as I would like to think that I am, I like taking care of my husband and children.  I like to make them healthy and good meals and keep them in clean clothes and in a clean house and I like for Jon to take care of me financially so that I can continue to do what I do…

If we take a big pay cut, I will have to get a job to be able to afford our house.  I guess that is sad on so many levels.  We could move away so that I could go back to school and get a good job but I love our house.  I really love it even more now that we are fixing it up.  I can’t imagine leaving my babies.  I mean, it would kind of be nice to go back to work and be appreciated for what I do and have other people acknowledge that I am good (or at the very least) competent at what I do.  I really enjoyed that in the Navy.  I was good at what I did, I worked very hard, and I was respected.  I was even offered a few jobs when I got out but I didn’t want to stay on the East Coast……

I just can’t imagine leaving my babies every day.  I would miss out on so much of their lives….

Well, better go…Getting too upset. 

O.k. everyone.  I had to delete the old blog because it had some identifying information in it.  Unfortunately, it also had all of our blogs.  So, I am sad.  Oh well.  I guess I will just have to start over with this one…. You live and you learn.

So, Olivia has finished her evaluation and they decided that she is not eligible for services through the school district because her speach has dramatically improved.  Whoo hoo!!!  I have never been so happy.  They also told me that they could tell that I have been working with her at home and that they were impressed with some of the skills that she has (letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc….) of course, that made me feel really good:)

Olivia turned 3.  I was thinking on the day of her birth and our birth day about her birth and it was kind of sad.  I mean, I used to be able to remember her birth so vividly and now it has kind of faded and morphed into Eve’s Birth.  I never wanted that to happen so I think I am going to make a "Birth Book" and put her birth story in there and birth pictures and we can look at it and remember it together.  I hope to also include some baby stories (that I can still remember).  Of course, who knows if that will ever happen but it would be really cool!

She had a party with her little friend Gianna on her actual Birth Day and then we had 35 people from my dad’s family here this weekend for another celebration.  It was mostly for my brother and my sister-in-law and niece and nephew so that everyone could see each other.  It was fun.  I think Olivia had a grand time playing with all of the other kids.  Of course, I am not sure that she really got the rough play that the boys did but her cousin, Denae and Olivia, have very similar temperments and it was very interesting to watch them "duke it out". 

It is amazing how empathetic and sensitive she has become.  I am so proud.  I remember when she was still learning gentle touchs and it felt like she was going to turn into a monster when she was a toddler…..

Hmmm….kitchen is coming along.  We now have  cabinets, countertops, and new light fixtures.  We just have to seal the countertops and finish tiling the backsplash and touch ups and we will finally be done!  Of course, there is painting to do but things are coming along nicely.  It is still overwhelming though.  I don’t think I had any idea how much work this house was going to take when we bought it!